Let's Work On Our Vocabulary, Shall We?

Last night, NBC was showing "National Treasure 2", one of my favorite movies.  I decided to watch it, while Jack was getting ready for bed.  He comes in right at the beginning and says, "Is this appropriate for kids?"  I said, "It should be okay."  He keeps watching and says, "I don't think this is appropriate for kids."  Then it is the scene in the theatre with Abraham Lincoln.  I asked him if he knew who he was.  "Abraham Lincoln," he replies.  I asked him if he knew who Lincoln was (expecting him to say a President).  He said, "Lincoln and Martin Luther King both were laminated."

In bad taste but definitely funny.  Yes, I corrected him and said "assassinated" and then we talked about what good men they were and how they contributed to society. 

Watch and Learn

Now that Jack is a high and mighty 1st grader, he likes to impose his views on Ava.  Yesterday, Ava and Jack are arguing about what to watch on TV.  He pulls out a LeapFrog video (I think it was Talking Letter Factory) and says to her, "You need to learn how to spell.  How do you spell CAT?"  Ava replies, "F-A-R-T."  Jack laughs, I roll my eyes.  He tries again.  Ava replies, "A-E-I-O-U."  Jack sighs deeply and dramatically (imagine GLEE only with less spirit fingers) and says, 'Ava, you need to watch this movie.  Watch and learn....watch and learn."  Those two!  *giggle*

Dooms?

Ava asked me today what "those are".  I thought briefly about what to tell her since she is pretty smart and very well-spoken.  I told her "boobs"...stupid me!  I should have just told her the technical word but I didn't in a moment of minor panic.  She smiles and giggles and says, "I don't have dooms."  I repeated it again.  She again says, "I don't have dooms."  Then here I am, much to my chagrin, slowly and phonetically sounding it out..."Watch my lips Ava...boobs".  She still didn't get it so I take it to her dad.  I tell him what she asked and then her follow-up.  He asks her if she has dooms.  She said, "No.  I have BOOMS!"  And says it very slowly again to him.  What a mess!

Mommy Said No

Overheard from the backseat: Jack: "Ava...when I get my cast, I'm getting a red one with a blue stripe." Ava says, "Ooh! Just like me..only mine is pink and purple." Jack asks, "Ava, let me try that on." Ava shouts to the front of the car (which is a rental car because mine has been in for service all week), "Mom! Can I take off my cast?" Me: "No" and then Ava WHISPERS, "Mommy said I can't." Jack conspiratorially responds, "Maybe you should try." Ava then shouts, "Mom! Can I try?" Me: "No". Ava WHISPERS to Jack, "Mommy said no". Jack states, "Well, I will just have to get one too." Seriously?! How many more injuries do we need in this house?!

Ava's New Cast

As you probably are aware, Ava broke her arm 2 days ago and this morning, she had to go to Riley to get her cast put on. When we got there, the nurse said, "Whoa! She has almost destroyed her splint." Good thing they didn't make us wait a week as planned ;) The doctor was talking to Ava about her arm and said that her break wasn't that bad. She said that Ava would actually be able to have a removable cast "but after talking with her for 30 seconds, I can tell she needs a real cast." Ava told her that she "didn't need a cast" and that "I am all better...look! See! I can punch!" She then proceeds to jab at the doctor, fake hitting her and almost tackled her. Needless to say, Ava is on the reckless side; therefore, she has a real hard cast put on. She chose hot pink with a purple stripe. Definitely Ava...raucous princess Ava ;)

Ava's broken arm

Last night was a rough night for us, especially Ava. Ava was climbing out of the bathtub and I was holding her left hand. She slipped and fell hard on her right hand. Heard a pop and she was crying hard...I knew immediately that it was broken. Got Jack out of the tub, dressed both of them and ran out the door. Me? I had just gotten out of the shower before they took a bath so I had soaking wet hair, no makeup...really looked the fright.
Drove down to Riley Children's Hospital ER and she was taken in immediately. That was nice. By this time, she had stopped crying and seemed fine. She was back to talking to everyone and being friends with everyone. We were taken in a small room where the nurse came to see us. She was fabulous...I don't remember her name though. Ava had 8 x-rays taken even though it seemed like the doctor didn't think there was a break because she wasn't crying, they could touch her and manipulate her arm. I kept telling them that Ava is a TROOPER and that her pain thresh-hold is really high. The initial reading of the x-ray didn't reveal a break but then the radiologist spotted what they called a "buckle fracture". Apparently this is a very common type of break in children because of their softer bones. It basically means that one side of the bone buckles or bends without a break on the other side of the bone. It can also be called an incomplete fracture.
They ended up putting a splint on her arm under the orthopedist can see her and put a more substantial cast on her arm. Waiting to hear back from the Casting Clinic to get an appointment.
It was an awful night last night but Ava seems to be in good spirits this morning.


I want to again compliment Riley for their outstanding service. Everyone there was so terrific, from our checkin nurse (Jill Chatham) to our "personal nurse", the physicians Dr. Rose McGwere and Dr. Lindy. The supervising physician was wonderful too but I missed her name all together. They gave both Jack and Ava a stuffed toy to play with and keep, brought movies to watch and carolers came to brighten the entire wards' spirits. The entire staff really worked to keep people's spirits high and to make a bad situation as good as can be. Thanks to them!

What Time Out Looks Like at My House

My children are out of control...they seem to take turns getting in trouble at their respective schools. Today, Jack hops in the car and has "the look". I don't even need to ask because I know the answer, but I proceed to ask how his day was. "Did you get in trouble?" I ask. He says, "Yes" and rapidly changes the subject to everything but the issue. After 8 minutes of him gleefully telling me everything about his day, except what happened, I asked what he got a dart for. He responds, "I don't want to tell you because I will lie." I try not to laugh as I say, "Well then don't lie. It's always better to tell the truth." Apparently in gym class, they were doing stacking cups and he didn't stop. Really? That's all? What a relief.

Tonight we get home and Ava decides she is going to do her own thing. As a result, she gets a time out...check out what time out looks like at my house...look closely!

The Bloody Massacre

Picture this...it is 10:55 on a cold winter morning. I am sitting at my desk, tracking data points, when my phone rings-caller ID indicates it is coming from Jack's school. I pick it up to hear Jack's teacher say hello. My response, "Oh no, what did he do?" Long pause, than a giggle..."I am so glad you asked. Jack had a bloody massacre today." Me: "What?!" Apparently, Jack decided to be the ring leader of his group of 4 boys, encouraging them to use the stamp pad (not the stamp) to stamp all over his new jeans (I don't know about their clothes-I have only seen his), his hands, his face, his hair. Then when apparently, he hadn't covered enough ground, he paved a bloody red path through the carpet, covering about 5 sq. feet. Now, I know, you want to giggle....go ahead. Here's the worst part, when the custodian came in to deep the mess up, the classroom assistant suffered an asthma attack and had to go home. What was he thinking?!

Kati Perry Wanna Be?

Brian asked that I share a mini story from this morning. He said that he was getting Ava ready for "school" and as he was putting on her socks, she starts singing, "Put my socks on me in my skin tight jeans, be your teenage dream tonight." Kati Perry spends too much time with my kids, especially my little one :) What 3 year old can change the lyrics to a song and get it spot-on?! Crazy!

Watch the Teenage Dream video by Kati Perry on youtube here... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8fj2HVYlD_4

Bad Reports = No Celebration at My House!

Why does it always seem like this time of year is a recipe for bad behavior? Between the pubescent attitudes at school and my own two kids, I have had it up to HERE. I need a vacation! Okay, so I know that I went to Paris for Thanksgiving but that was work! Sort of...anyways, both Jack and Ava came home today with "bad reports." Jack again got a "dart", which signifies bad behavior. Why? According to him, he yelled, "I gotta get out of here!" while in the bathroom at school. He said it was because it was too crowded and he said there were like 20 kids in there but the rule is only 3 are allowed in at once. 3 vs. 20...someone is definitely not doing their bathroom duty...and of course, Jack yells and gets in trouble. Oh! And he got a dart yesterday for arguing with his friend Logan in the bathroom. Now, if two boys kept getting in trouble together in the bathroom at the middle school, I might have some interesting and sarcastic comments to make but since they are in 1st grade, I think we are pretty safe. Similarly, Ava got in trouble today for manipulating the new little girl at Monica's to sneak baby dolls into nap time. Ava got caught, got snarky with Lauren and the rest is history. What is going on? Oy vey!

If anyone wants details on my Paris vacation, let me know! I would love to blog about the City of Lights ;)

An English teacher's nightmare

To follow up my post yesterday about Jack keeping his friend company, shortly after that conversation occurred, Ava started referencing her nether regions. Now up until yesterday, she referred to it as her "Betty". Not even going there as to where that came from but needless to say the terminology stuck. With Ava being a very grown up 3 year old, I thought it was time to teach her the proper term, so I told her and Jack that it is called a "vagina." Hopefully, if you are reading this, you are not shocked at my bluntness or realism when dealing with my kids. Anyway, today we get in the car from picking her up at Monica's and Ava asks me a question about her "Pa-tine-ah." (And no, I don't remember the question). Jack quickly chimes in and also calls it a "Pa-tine-ah." (Obviously, I am spelling it semi-phonetically so you get it). Guess there is some work needed on their pronounciation!

And talking about pronounciations, Jack asked me today if I knew what a "Trable clap" was. Of course, I did not. He says, 'You know, the musical note? It's kinda like a J." "Oh! A treble clef!"

Private?

I was giving Jack and Ava a bath tonight when I hear them having a discussion about his private area. I hear Ava ask, "Are you taking it off?" Jack replies, "No. I'm only scratching it." I admonish them that their areas are private and not up for discussion. I then tell Jack that he should be doing that not in the presence of others. He replies, "I'm keeping it company."

Ava's Interrogation #2 and Dynamite!

After picking up J and A this afternoon, we had to swing by the post office to pick up a package. Ava, of course, was charming Darlene, the worker there, and Jack was vying for her attention too. Ava was asking "What's yo name?" "How old are you?" "Is that (the package) for me?" "Do you like Christmas?" "Is that a Charlie Brown box?" "Can I have a sucker?" Jack chimes in, "Do you like your job?" like he is a human resources exec. Then he says, "My mom is 33 and my dad is 34." I joked that it is good that they don't know my weight. Darlene LOVED them and gave them treats. So then, as we are leaving the PO, they ask what is in the box. I said, "Hair bows". Ava shrieks, "I told you that was my box!!!!" Like 10 people were staring and giggling. Nice.
Hop in the car and are listening to Z99.5's MakeAWish-athon...they start playing Taio Cruz's Dynamite, a song that I love. There is no funnier sound than two little ones singing these lyrics...
I Throw My Hands Up In The Air Sometimes,
Saying Ay-Oh, Gotta Let go.
I wanna celebrate and live my life,
Saying Ay-Oh, Baby Let's Go.
Cause we gon rock this club,
We gon' go all night,
We gon' light it up,
Like it's dynamite.
Cause I told you once,
Now I told you twice,
We gon light it up,
Like it's dynamite.

Probably not appropriate but definitely funny!!!!

Do you want to watch the video? Here is a youtube link...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hpGgBYeOgi0

What's a Del Fuego anyway?

Today I am going to rant for a minute or twelve about something totally off - topic. Most of you know I work at a middle school. Most of us can recall or vaguely recall middle school or junior high-that awful time when your face breaks out like a pizza parlor, glasses and braces suddenly enhance that awesome look and deodorant and other items become necessary for survival. Life during this time, frankly, sucks. I have blocked out this time in my life, mainly because I was a major nerd and it was not a pleasant time for me.

So today at work, I helped investigate a bullying incident. This was full-fledged bullying at its worst. This poor child (a boy as sweet as can be) has been harassed repeatedly, called names and teased pretty much everyday for at least the last 3 weeks that we could determine, although I venture to say it has lasted much longer than that. What are the kids doing? Calling the boy a "Del Fuego"...now, I can understand a bit of Spanish so the translation is From Fire. However, the person who started the name calling (which spread like wild fire) "made it up" and his translation was "hippo". We interrogated, oops, I mean interviewed, a dozen kids who all casually called this child the name and teased him about it. I am ROYALLY DISGUSTED with them. Who gave them the right to tear down this other child? Who told them it was okay to do this? So it is a stupid name....that name has caused indeterminant damage to the child. He went from all A's and B's to mainly F's, hates school, hates himself and god only knows what else. His mom is horrified, as she should be.

Lesson learned: the stuff kids said to me that hurt my feelings, I still carry with me today. I can recall vividly each barb that came my way and how it made me feel. This must stop.

Where did my little girl go?

Here's short commentary on my little princess (snort!) and her antics lately. Apparently, she is being raised by monkeys when I am not around. So yesterday, we are sitting on the floor playing the classic game Candy Land. Of course, Jack and Ava are both trouncing me. (That, I suppose is another story all together). Ava stands up and says, "Mommy, look at me." I turn my head and she 'talks' her butt at me and then farts. Gross! Today, after pulling her from the bath and towel drying her, she curls up into a little ball on the floor with her rear end facing what? Yes, that is correct. Me. So she proceeds to tootle her trumpet, so to speak, in my face. Where is this grossness coming from? Why did I deserve her bestowing this nastiness on me? Oh well, tomorrow is another day. Maybe she can horrify me in another heinous fashion. Enjoy today's edition of Ava's Antics ;)

Ava and O'Reilly Auto Parts.

I should really change the name of my blog to Ava's Antics...she is always into something or saying something. Oy vey!

Here is a super funny (at least I think it is funny) story about the night Brian took the kids to O'Reilly Auto Parts. Now, this night was the night I had Bunco with the girls and had to take the kiddies with me until Brian could pick them up. In a flash of inspiration (thanks Sydney!), I put both kids in their footie pj's, Jack wearing his Transformer boots, and Ava shoeless. I take them with me and Brian picks them up. He had to stop at O'Reilly's on the way home to buy a new gas cap. Apparently his old one is somewhere downtown Indy. He plops Ava on the counter at O'Reilly's. Ava, knowing no stranger, promptly asks the very gruff counter person, "What's your name?" (Ava saying it really comes out as "What's yo name?") Response: "Dave." Ava: "How old are you?" Dave grinning and probably thinking this is hilarious: "29". Ava: "My daddy's older than you." Before she could get his phone number, social security number and shoe size, Brian ushers them out of the store. Ava cracks me up...she always give everyone the third degree.

Maybe if you are lucky, I will share some more stories about Ava interrogating people in a future post. I will finish this off with a classic comment by Ava when wanting her way..."Say sure!"

My Little Trooper...Caution! Graphic pictures!

Picture this...8pm on Saturday. It looks like we might just get both kids into bed by 8, 8:30 tops. Ava hightails it into our bathroom to get her teeth brushed. An extremely loud THUD! sounds. Silence then an "Owie!" Ava starts screaming. Brian is quick to follow her. I am frozen. Ava has split open her head after running fullforce into the wall. Not her smartest move. However, after severely bleeding (head wounds tend to do that), a run to CVS,

a call to St. Vincents 338-KIDS line, a call to my parents and his parents (not in any particularorder), she is semi on the mend. She has already began to recap the incident. "I ran into the bathroom, hit the wall, split my head open...then I got my blanket and I am all better." Now we just have to monitor her all night and wake her up every 2 hours...not sure what is worse-the getting up part or the fact that she is going to be CRANKY tomorrow.

Jack and I are still recovering from the evening. Poor guy! He takes after me in that blood and gore are not our top picks. He went to bed lickety split!

I Think I Love You

Ava, age 3, and I were reading on the couch and a trashy entertainment show, probably Entertainment Tonight (okay, so it is not trashy, unless you think it is, then it is) was on in the background. I start singing along to "I think I love you but what am I so afriad of..." (Partridge family guy? Maybe David Cassidy, pretty sure not Danny Bonaduce) Ava looks at me and asks what the song is called. I (not knowing the name) said, "I think it is 'I think I love you.'" She says, "I think I love you too but what is the name of the song?"

So if you are serious about knowing this song, which why wouldn't you, here they are...

"I Think I Love You"(As recorded by the Partridge Family/Bell)

TONY ROMEO

I was sleeping and right in the middle of a good dream

Like all at once I wake up from something that keeps knocking at my brain

Before I go insane I hold my pillow to my head

And spring up in my bed screaming out the words I dread

I think I love you

This morning I woke up with this feelingI didn't know how to deal with and so I just decided to myself

I'd hide it to myself and never talk about it

And did not go and shout it when you walked into the room

I think I love you

I think I love you so what am I so afraid of

I'm afraid that I'm not sure of a love there is no cure for

I think I love you isn't that what life is made of

Though it worries me to say that I never felt this way

I don't know what I'm up against

I don't know what it's all aboutI got so much to think about

Hey, I think I love you so what am I so afraid of

I'm afraid that I'm not sure of a love there is no cure for

I think I love you isn't that what life is made of

Though it worries me to say I never felt this way

Believe me you really don't have to worry

I only wanna make you happy and if you say "hey go away" I will

But I think better still I'd better stay around and love you

Do you think I have a case let me ask you to your face

Do you think you love me?

I think I love youI think I love you

(I think I love you)I think I love you

(I think I love you)I think I love you(I think I love you)

I think I love you(I think I love you).

(c) Copyright 1970 by Screen Gems-Columbia Music, Inc.- HIT PARADER, March 1971.

What am I doing?!

So I decided to try my hand again at having a blog. I like to write, I think I am pretty good at it, and I get told all the time that my kids are super funny. So instead of only sharing with my facebook friends, I am sharing with the world the funny stories that I have. Hopefully, you find them as funny as me :-)